Burdens

I work at Huntsman Cancer Hospital in the ICU.  I am not a nurse.  I am what is called the Health Unit Coordinator.  Even though I don't work directly with patients I see them every day, I hear their stories.  There are a lot of deaths here at work.  Most of the time I am able to stay disconnected, but not today. 

I came into work to find out that not even an hour after a patient was admitted, she died.  She was in her mid thirties.  She had been here before and I recognized her husband.  She was traveling from a ways away and was coming into the hospital today to get chemo.  Instead a routine visit turned into her last day of life.  Cancer sucks.  What really got me was when her family was finally able to get here (hours after her passing), she had young children.  As they were leaving her son probably about 4 or 5 said to his dad "we were just saying bye-bye to mommy".  I must admit I started crying.  No young child should be saying good-bye to their mommy.  I thought of my own children, I thought of Joe.  I thought, what if that was my family.  How can a father explain to young children that mommy has just died? 

My heart aches for this family that I don't know.  I pray that the father will have strength to bear this burden.  I pray that those children will know that their mommy loves them.  I know this because I know of the love that I have for my children. 

We all have burdens.  Mine are different from yours but we each have something that makes our heart heavy.  I don't understand why some have to bear certain burdens but I am comforted in my knowledge of our Savior.  I know he lived and died for us.  I know that without him there would be no hope.

(This doesn't even show what I am truly feeling but I had to write something right now, while I am feeling it.  My emotions needed to be written.)