Okay, I must admit that title is very melodramatic compared to what I am in mourning about.
In my previous post I talked about Joe waiting on another job and if he got a certain one I could possibly quit work (which, lets be honest I would much rather be at home then working, my dream has always been to be a stay-at-home mom). Well the good news is he got the manager position that we were really hoping that he would get. The bad news is they did not offer enough money for me to be able to quit. I would still have to work part time even with him working this new job. I was ok with that. A little bummed but part time is definetly much better than full time. So last Thursday I told my boss that I would be going part time, and let me tell you it felt fabulous. It felt liberating!
So why am I mourning you might ask? Friday (remember this is the day after I told my boss I would be part time) Joe found out he missed the time to sign up for benefits. I currently am the one who gets the benefits. There is no way that I can go to part time until January when his benefits will kick in. Now I have to go and tell my boss "Just kidding, you thought I was going part time and so did I BUT not so". Now I have to mentally prepare myself to be working this much until January. It is really hard. Especially since I was so excited to cut down on my hours. Oh well. I know that life could be worse. At least I have a job.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Waiting
If anyone knows me, they should probably know that I am the most impatient person in the world. Patience is a virtue that I do not hold, nor do I ever have hope of acquiring.
Heck, I'm so impatient that when Joe and I were dating I had told him that he had to propose to me by a certain date. When I want something, I do not want to wait. But we all know that that is not the way that life rolls. There are so many times when we have to wait for what we want. We are told that it builds character. Well screw character. I don't want to wait.
You might wonder what I am waiting for....well, a lot. For starters, Joe and I are buying a house!!! Yay! I guess I should clarify we are buying a townhome. But it is still better than living in an apartment. We are moving to Daybreak and I can't be more excited. From the first time that I visited the Daybreak community I fell in love. I knew that if Utah was going to be our home that is where I wanted to live. It is being built right now and was supposed to be ready Aug 1. Since the house isn't even framed yet there is no way that it will be ready in Aug. We are really hoping it will be ready before Sept 21 when our lease runs out. I want to be out of our apartment NOW, I want to have a place that I can truly make our home and feel settled.
That isn't even the thing I'm anticipating the most. The thing that has me in a tizzy is Joe's job. In order to really explain this I feel I need to give some background. We have always thought that Joe would go to grad school. In order for him to do that there are things that he needs to do to get into grad school. In order for that to happen I needed to find a job that paid a lot more and I would work 40 hours a week to be the main provider for the family. Back in Feb I started looking for jobs. Since then I have had 2 job interviews. Yes, only 2 and both times I felt awful and that neither was the job for me. A little over a month ago this got us thinking and wondering if perhaps this was not the avenue for our family. Maybe I needed to stay home and we put off grad school. Once we made that decision we both felt so good. We know that at this time I need to be spending more time at home with the kids and with Joe.
In order for this to happen Joe needs to get paid a little more in his job. He had a couple of job leads within his company. One is a senior analyst and another is a manager. He has already been offered the analyst position and with that one I can go part time. However, if he gets the manager position there is a posibility of me being able to quit my job all together (can I get a What, What!!) Joe has been through 4 interviews for the manager position. On Friday June 28 they told him that they would tell him if he got the job or not the next week. Well on Tuesday July 2 the head recruiter told him that she was going out of town and would be back on Monday and he would not get an answer until Monday July 8. Yesterday, (Monday the 8th) Joe talked to the recruiter and she told him he would find out either by that night or at latest today. Well, it is almost 5pm and we still haven't heard anything. WHAT THE HECK!!!! If he isn't going to get the job, just let us know. I am sick of being strung along right now. If he is getting the job, I don't understand why they can't tell him. I'm so sick of waiting, I just want to know. I want to be able to move on. For someone who has VERY little patience this is driving me CRAZY.
Quite franckly I think Joe is sick of hearing me talk/nag him about when we are going to find out. I don't know how to just let things go and not get uptight about it. So I am stuck, and I am driving my husband crazy in the process. One day we will have an answer, hopefully tomorrow, but I shouldn't count on it. Until then, I will just keep waiting............
Heck, I'm so impatient that when Joe and I were dating I had told him that he had to propose to me by a certain date. When I want something, I do not want to wait. But we all know that that is not the way that life rolls. There are so many times when we have to wait for what we want. We are told that it builds character. Well screw character. I don't want to wait.
You might wonder what I am waiting for....well, a lot. For starters, Joe and I are buying a house!!! Yay! I guess I should clarify we are buying a townhome. But it is still better than living in an apartment. We are moving to Daybreak and I can't be more excited. From the first time that I visited the Daybreak community I fell in love. I knew that if Utah was going to be our home that is where I wanted to live. It is being built right now and was supposed to be ready Aug 1. Since the house isn't even framed yet there is no way that it will be ready in Aug. We are really hoping it will be ready before Sept 21 when our lease runs out. I want to be out of our apartment NOW, I want to have a place that I can truly make our home and feel settled.
That isn't even the thing I'm anticipating the most. The thing that has me in a tizzy is Joe's job. In order to really explain this I feel I need to give some background. We have always thought that Joe would go to grad school. In order for him to do that there are things that he needs to do to get into grad school. In order for that to happen I needed to find a job that paid a lot more and I would work 40 hours a week to be the main provider for the family. Back in Feb I started looking for jobs. Since then I have had 2 job interviews. Yes, only 2 and both times I felt awful and that neither was the job for me. A little over a month ago this got us thinking and wondering if perhaps this was not the avenue for our family. Maybe I needed to stay home and we put off grad school. Once we made that decision we both felt so good. We know that at this time I need to be spending more time at home with the kids and with Joe.
In order for this to happen Joe needs to get paid a little more in his job. He had a couple of job leads within his company. One is a senior analyst and another is a manager. He has already been offered the analyst position and with that one I can go part time. However, if he gets the manager position there is a posibility of me being able to quit my job all together (can I get a What, What!!) Joe has been through 4 interviews for the manager position. On Friday June 28 they told him that they would tell him if he got the job or not the next week. Well on Tuesday July 2 the head recruiter told him that she was going out of town and would be back on Monday and he would not get an answer until Monday July 8. Yesterday, (Monday the 8th) Joe talked to the recruiter and she told him he would find out either by that night or at latest today. Well, it is almost 5pm and we still haven't heard anything. WHAT THE HECK!!!! If he isn't going to get the job, just let us know. I am sick of being strung along right now. If he is getting the job, I don't understand why they can't tell him. I'm so sick of waiting, I just want to know. I want to be able to move on. For someone who has VERY little patience this is driving me CRAZY.
Quite franckly I think Joe is sick of hearing me talk/nag him about when we are going to find out. I don't know how to just let things go and not get uptight about it. So I am stuck, and I am driving my husband crazy in the process. One day we will have an answer, hopefully tomorrow, but I shouldn't count on it. Until then, I will just keep waiting............
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Burdens
I work at Huntsman Cancer Hospital in the ICU. I am not a nurse. I am what is called the Health Unit Coordinator. Even though I don't work directly with patients I see them every day, I hear their stories. There are a lot of deaths here at work. Most of the time I am able to stay disconnected, but not today.
I came into work to find out that not even an hour after a patient was admitted, she died. She was in her mid thirties. She had been here before and I recognized her husband. She was traveling from a ways away and was coming into the hospital today to get chemo. Instead a routine visit turned into her last day of life. Cancer sucks. What really got me was when her family was finally able to get here (hours after her passing), she had young children. As they were leaving her son probably about 4 or 5 said to his dad "we were just saying bye-bye to mommy". I must admit I started crying. No young child should be saying good-bye to their mommy. I thought of my own children, I thought of Joe. I thought, what if that was my family. How can a father explain to young children that mommy has just died?
My heart aches for this family that I don't know. I pray that the father will have strength to bear this burden. I pray that those children will know that their mommy loves them. I know this because I know of the love that I have for my children.
We all have burdens. Mine are different from yours but we each have something that makes our heart heavy. I don't understand why some have to bear certain burdens but I am comforted in my knowledge of our Savior. I know he lived and died for us. I know that without him there would be no hope.
(This doesn't even show what I am truly feeling but I had to write something right now, while I am feeling it. My emotions needed to be written.)
I came into work to find out that not even an hour after a patient was admitted, she died. She was in her mid thirties. She had been here before and I recognized her husband. She was traveling from a ways away and was coming into the hospital today to get chemo. Instead a routine visit turned into her last day of life. Cancer sucks. What really got me was when her family was finally able to get here (hours after her passing), she had young children. As they were leaving her son probably about 4 or 5 said to his dad "we were just saying bye-bye to mommy". I must admit I started crying. No young child should be saying good-bye to their mommy. I thought of my own children, I thought of Joe. I thought, what if that was my family. How can a father explain to young children that mommy has just died?
My heart aches for this family that I don't know. I pray that the father will have strength to bear this burden. I pray that those children will know that their mommy loves them. I know this because I know of the love that I have for my children.
We all have burdens. Mine are different from yours but we each have something that makes our heart heavy. I don't understand why some have to bear certain burdens but I am comforted in my knowledge of our Savior. I know he lived and died for us. I know that without him there would be no hope.
(This doesn't even show what I am truly feeling but I had to write something right now, while I am feeling it. My emotions needed to be written.)
Monday, May 20, 2013
I have a blog post in the works but it is taking a little bit longer to write. It is something that I need to make sure is written well and I can't just do that on a whim. To hold us all over, I am going to post some pictures that Adrianna has taken for me.
I love this picture of Joe and Owen! They are both so handsome.
Cutest little pigtails ever! This is a fairly decent family picture. It is nice to get those, especially as the kids are growing up so fast. I love Owen with his baseball bat, I think he has a future! At least he already knows how to pose with the bat.
Grandpa Keyes loves to take the kids to the dollar store. This is from my birthday and Owen is checking out his options.
I just love Kenzie's smile. I truly am so lucky to be blessed with these two beautiful children.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Joe= Awesome!
My last two posts were about my beautiful children. It only feels fitting to make this post about my wonderful husband. I feel that I often nag and don't give him the credit that he deserves. I tell him, I want him done with school, I'm sick of waiting for him to figure out getting into a master's program, we need to lose weight, we shouldn't be so hard on the kids, blah, blah, blah. Enough already! He needs to know that I apprecieate him.
Here is a short list of why my husband is wonderful:
* About once a month (sometimes more) he will bring dinner to me while I am working. He is so awesome to take the time out to do that so that we can see each other.
* He cleans the house more than I do!
* He is a great cook, he makes some great fajitas.
* He pays all of our bills (before we got married I told him that I am awful at paying bills and he has followed through and made sure to get those all paid on time).
* He folds the laundry. I hate folding laundry and he will do it for me.
* The other night I was making dinner and he asked me if the kids had had a bath that day. I told him no and the next thing I know he has both the kids in the bath.
* He gets up in the middle of the night with the kids even though he has to be at work by 6:30.
* Every night Joe lays with Owen so Owen can fall asleep (for some reason Owen will not fall asleep without someone laying with him. Probably a bad habit, or he is really afraid of something but hasn't told us what it is yet).
* Joe is very patient
* He teaches me math and he knows that I expect him to teach the children math (I really struggle with math).
* He will rub my back even if he has had a hard day and needs it more, he will still do it for me.
* Joe gets the kids ready for church. When Owen has nice combed hair, it's because Joe got him ready, not me.
* Every night Joe makes sure that he prays with the kids and reads scriptures to them.
* While working and being a husband and father he was able to get his bachelor's degree in Psychology. He still plans on getting a master's degree.
*He goes along with many of my crazy ideas and doesn't complain.
*Joe spoils me.
* Joe knows that one of my biggest dreams is to own a house. He is making that possible this year. We are buying a townhome in Daybreak, UT. I'm beyond ecstatic!
* Along the same lines of the comment above, Joe knows what my hopes a dreams are and he has helped fulfill many of them. He knows the secrets of my heart.
* Joe lifts me up when I am down. He loves me like no one has ever loved me before.
These aren't the only reasons why he is wonderful, but they will do for now.
Here is a short list of why my husband is wonderful:
* About once a month (sometimes more) he will bring dinner to me while I am working. He is so awesome to take the time out to do that so that we can see each other.
* He cleans the house more than I do!
* He is a great cook, he makes some great fajitas.
* He pays all of our bills (before we got married I told him that I am awful at paying bills and he has followed through and made sure to get those all paid on time).
* He folds the laundry. I hate folding laundry and he will do it for me.
* The other night I was making dinner and he asked me if the kids had had a bath that day. I told him no and the next thing I know he has both the kids in the bath.
* He gets up in the middle of the night with the kids even though he has to be at work by 6:30.
* Every night Joe lays with Owen so Owen can fall asleep (for some reason Owen will not fall asleep without someone laying with him. Probably a bad habit, or he is really afraid of something but hasn't told us what it is yet).
* Joe is very patient
* He teaches me math and he knows that I expect him to teach the children math (I really struggle with math).
* He will rub my back even if he has had a hard day and needs it more, he will still do it for me.
* Joe gets the kids ready for church. When Owen has nice combed hair, it's because Joe got him ready, not me.
* Every night Joe makes sure that he prays with the kids and reads scriptures to them.
* While working and being a husband and father he was able to get his bachelor's degree in Psychology. He still plans on getting a master's degree.
*He goes along with many of my crazy ideas and doesn't complain.
*Joe spoils me.
* Joe knows that one of my biggest dreams is to own a house. He is making that possible this year. We are buying a townhome in Daybreak, UT. I'm beyond ecstatic!
* Along the same lines of the comment above, Joe knows what my hopes a dreams are and he has helped fulfill many of them. He knows the secrets of my heart.
* Joe lifts me up when I am down. He loves me like no one has ever loved me before.
These aren't the only reasons why he is wonderful, but they will do for now.
Friday, April 19, 2013
In the mean time...
I know I haven't posted in a while. To be honest I'm just not in a writing mood lately. I have a lot of ideas swimming around in my head with what I want to write about, but I need to work on a way that I can present them in an appropriate fashion. So in the mean time here are some pictures that I have taken on my phone in the past month.
Kenzie is now eating solids. She likes the fruit a lot better than the vegetables. This is the complete opposite from Owen. In fact Owen just barely started eating apples and I'm so excited.
This was the picture that I sent to my brother for his birthday. I love my brother Drew so much. I know that he loves the kids and I know they love him (even though they don't get to see him often). This was the only picture that wasn't blurry and you could read the happy birthday. I think it is cute how Owen is looking at Kenzie. He adores her so much! I am so lucky to have a son that loves his sister.
Don't you think Kenzie is a doll with her hair in a pony tail?! I love that it is starting to get long enough for me to put it up. She hates me doing her hair, but I still do it. I just need to learn to be fast.
We are trying to teach Owen to potty train. It is not successful one bit. I hope that one day he will want to go in the potty instead of just sitting there. In 15 years he is going to be so mad at me for sharing this but it is too cute not to.
I think I have been depressed lately. I feel like even though there are happy things going on in my life I seem to only see the negative. I don't want to be working anymore and that will not end for a couple years. It is so hard to be patient and happy in being a working mom when I really just want to stay at home. I feel like when I try to motivate Joe to be more proactive in getting into a masters program it just makes him mad at me for bringing it up. Because of that I then let myself get into a downward spiral by thinking that we will be in this situation for the rest of our lives. Being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel is really hard for me.
There you have it, probably the main truth as to why I haven't written.
However one happy thing is that we ordered a double stroller/bike trailer. It came yesterday! We went on a walk yesterday and today I went on a walk/run. I have not ran since before I was pregnant with Owen. It was hard but felt fabulous. I hope I can motivate myself to exersize since I really need to lose weight.
I think I have been depressed lately. I feel like even though there are happy things going on in my life I seem to only see the negative. I don't want to be working anymore and that will not end for a couple years. It is so hard to be patient and happy in being a working mom when I really just want to stay at home. I feel like when I try to motivate Joe to be more proactive in getting into a masters program it just makes him mad at me for bringing it up. Because of that I then let myself get into a downward spiral by thinking that we will be in this situation for the rest of our lives. Being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel is really hard for me.
There you have it, probably the main truth as to why I haven't written.
However one happy thing is that we ordered a double stroller/bike trailer. It came yesterday! We went on a walk yesterday and today I went on a walk/run. I have not ran since before I was pregnant with Owen. It was hard but felt fabulous. I hope I can motivate myself to exersize since I really need to lose weight.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
McKenzie
Okay, I said that my next post would be the birth story for Kenzie. So like I said with my post about Owen, this is more for me so that I have it documented. I don't expect anyone to really pay attention.
Because Owen was so big we automatically knew that I would have another C-section and my Dr decided to schedule it at almost 38 weeks. This was a big deal because my Dr said that he never does a scheduled c-section before 38 weeks but he felt with my situation it was just fine to schedule it earlier rather than later. Throughout my pregnancy I felt that I had low blood pressure. Whenever I would go in for appointments I was in the low 100's over 60's but often when I would stand up or be on my feet for a while I would get very dizzy and light headed. Of course that never happened when I was in for an appointment to verify but I'm quite certain it was low. There were a couple times I felt close to passing out but if I just sat down I would be ok.
My c-section was scheduled for Friday August 10 and the Friday before I felt that my braxton hicks were getting really bad. They were really close together but every time I would change positions it would stop. I just assumed it was the braxton hicks or false labor. Quite honestly from the things that I read it was describing false labor and I never was in labor with Owen so I really didn't know what to expect. I went to my appointment on Monday morning and told my Dr what was happening but brushed it off saying it was false labor. He asked if I wanted him to check my cervix and I told him no since I felt certain it was false labor and I didn't want to since that is uncomfortable and awkward (I now regret that decision). I worked Monday night from 3pm-1130pm. I was in a lot of pain, very uncomfortable and could hardly stand for more than 5 minutes before feeling like I would pass out. I went home exhausted but knew that the next day was going to be busy. I had hardly seen Owen and I would get to spend a little one-on-one time with him and I wanted to pack my hospital bag.
The next morning Joe left for work and kissed me goodbye at about 630. I immediately fell back asleep. The next thing I knew I felt a gush of water. My first thought was "oh great I just peed the bed, how embarassing". Then I moved to go to the bathroom and there was another huge gush. At this point I knew my water just broke. I looked at my phone and saw that it was only 645. I called Joe (side note his first thought when he saw me calling was "did I forget to take out Owen's carseat again" since he had done that the day before). Apparantly he whipped his car around, called his work and came speeding home to get me. In the mean time I had ran to the bathroom to try to clean up but could not think clearly. All I could think was I want my mom. I tried calling her at home and then her cell and then my dad's cell multiple times and no one answered. I finally called my brother to have him get a hold of my parents when he reminded me that they were at some training. I finally realized that I should call my in-laws to come be with Owen since he was still asleep. Luckily, Joe had already done that. Joe got home, gave me a kiss and tenderly asked me how I was feeling referring to me being in pain. Honestly with it being a whirlwind to get me cleaned up and ready I hadn't even thought of pain and looked at him and said, "I'm fine and not really in pain". A minute later his dad was at our house and we were off to the hospital. I was in awe that I had actually gone in labor. I was not ready! Our camera wasn't even charged for crying out loud! I guess that was the problem with having this scheduled, I didn't have everything ready.
We got to the hospital by 730 and they put me in one of the OB emergency rooms. I was feeling great, a little nervous but not bad. It went so well with Owen that I wasn't nervous about the c-section this time. They got me hooked up to the monitors and asked if I wanted to try and labor on my own. I told them that my babies are too big, I'm not a good candidate for a VBAC and I just wanted to do a c-section (once again, wished I would have had them check me but I didn't-I would have liked to know how far progressed I was). Aparantly, it was a really busy day for them and they already had a lot of scheduled c-sections so they told me that it would be a couple hours. I was fine with that, because I was feeling fine. The aide was in my room and I asked her if it was ok if I went to the bathroom to have a bowel movement. She asked me if I was only feeling that during contractions or all the time. I said, I don't know let me check. I sat there for about 30 seconds, had a contraction and said yup now I have to poo. She looked at me, said don't go to the bathroom, that is the baby bearing down on you. She left the room and about 5 minutes later (or less) the nurse came in the room and said you are going to the OR now (I later found out that Kenzie's heart rate was also dropping during contractions). They wheeled me to a different room, started an IV and while doing this the anesthesia team came to me and had me sign consent forms. About 20 minutes later they took me to the OR room and tried to start the spinal on me. It took them a really long time to get that- I think it was about 4 or 5 tries. They would stick it in and then I could feel them moving the needle around in my back....not pleasant. They got me all ready and Joe wasn't there. Everyone kept asking where Joe was. I guess he was all dressed and ready to go but no one had come to get him and they forgot to give him the booties and cap and they had to go find those. By the time he got there they started immediately. They pulled Kenzie out and she had a very strong cry. Something neat with her was that the Dr (who wasn't my normal Dr) showed her to me over the drape which I didn't get with Owen. Joe went with Kenzie to the nursery while I was getting stitched up. As I was lying there I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. It took a huge effort for me to roll my head to the other side to look at my blood pressure. I saw it in the low 80's over 40's, then 79/38 and then 77/34. At this point I was willing myself not to pass out. I called to the anesthesiologist and said to him "do you see my blood pressure?" Of course I would have the audacity to point that out to a Dr. He pointed to the medicine he was pulling up and said I'm getting something right now.
Because of me Kenzie's blood sugars were REALLY low so she could not be with me for the first 3 days. She had to have an IV in her head (so sad) and was hooked up to a drip that was giving her sugar. Every three hours I would walk to the nursery and stay there for an hour, get about an hour and a half of sleep then do it all over again. The first night I probably shouldn't have been walking by myself, especially with a fall risk band on my wrist, but I just pretended every thing was fine even though I was pretty wobbly on my feet. Recovery for this c-section was a lot harder. I think me being in the hospital scared Owen because he never even wanted to be by me when someone would bring him to me. Someone charted some information incorrectly so there was this drama of them thinking Kenzie was losing too much weight. At first I thought I was going to go home without her but we were able to go home together on Saturday. This time around was very lonely during the day since Joe was at home taking care of Owen. I would stay in the nursery as long as possible and would go back to my room and try to get rest but it wouldn't really happen.
McKenzie Jane Keyes 08/07/2012, 9lbs 14oz, 20.5 inches long. If I had known she was under 10lbs I would have tried to do a VBAC, oh well live and learn. I think I had been in labor since about Friday until my water broke on Tuesday.
In this picture she looks a lot like Owen did when he was first born. When I first held her, I thought "oh no, my baby girl looks like a grumpy old man because that's exactly what Owen looked like." Don't worry within a couple hours I was able to see how beautiful she is and she's not a grumpy old man.
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Adrianna is holding Kenzie and Owen is seeing Kenzie for the first time through the glass.
Because Owen was so big we automatically knew that I would have another C-section and my Dr decided to schedule it at almost 38 weeks. This was a big deal because my Dr said that he never does a scheduled c-section before 38 weeks but he felt with my situation it was just fine to schedule it earlier rather than later. Throughout my pregnancy I felt that I had low blood pressure. Whenever I would go in for appointments I was in the low 100's over 60's but often when I would stand up or be on my feet for a while I would get very dizzy and light headed. Of course that never happened when I was in for an appointment to verify but I'm quite certain it was low. There were a couple times I felt close to passing out but if I just sat down I would be ok.
My c-section was scheduled for Friday August 10 and the Friday before I felt that my braxton hicks were getting really bad. They were really close together but every time I would change positions it would stop. I just assumed it was the braxton hicks or false labor. Quite honestly from the things that I read it was describing false labor and I never was in labor with Owen so I really didn't know what to expect. I went to my appointment on Monday morning and told my Dr what was happening but brushed it off saying it was false labor. He asked if I wanted him to check my cervix and I told him no since I felt certain it was false labor and I didn't want to since that is uncomfortable and awkward (I now regret that decision). I worked Monday night from 3pm-1130pm. I was in a lot of pain, very uncomfortable and could hardly stand for more than 5 minutes before feeling like I would pass out. I went home exhausted but knew that the next day was going to be busy. I had hardly seen Owen and I would get to spend a little one-on-one time with him and I wanted to pack my hospital bag.
The next morning Joe left for work and kissed me goodbye at about 630. I immediately fell back asleep. The next thing I knew I felt a gush of water. My first thought was "oh great I just peed the bed, how embarassing". Then I moved to go to the bathroom and there was another huge gush. At this point I knew my water just broke. I looked at my phone and saw that it was only 645. I called Joe (side note his first thought when he saw me calling was "did I forget to take out Owen's carseat again" since he had done that the day before). Apparantly he whipped his car around, called his work and came speeding home to get me. In the mean time I had ran to the bathroom to try to clean up but could not think clearly. All I could think was I want my mom. I tried calling her at home and then her cell and then my dad's cell multiple times and no one answered. I finally called my brother to have him get a hold of my parents when he reminded me that they were at some training. I finally realized that I should call my in-laws to come be with Owen since he was still asleep. Luckily, Joe had already done that. Joe got home, gave me a kiss and tenderly asked me how I was feeling referring to me being in pain. Honestly with it being a whirlwind to get me cleaned up and ready I hadn't even thought of pain and looked at him and said, "I'm fine and not really in pain". A minute later his dad was at our house and we were off to the hospital. I was in awe that I had actually gone in labor. I was not ready! Our camera wasn't even charged for crying out loud! I guess that was the problem with having this scheduled, I didn't have everything ready.
We got to the hospital by 730 and they put me in one of the OB emergency rooms. I was feeling great, a little nervous but not bad. It went so well with Owen that I wasn't nervous about the c-section this time. They got me hooked up to the monitors and asked if I wanted to try and labor on my own. I told them that my babies are too big, I'm not a good candidate for a VBAC and I just wanted to do a c-section (once again, wished I would have had them check me but I didn't-I would have liked to know how far progressed I was). Aparantly, it was a really busy day for them and they already had a lot of scheduled c-sections so they told me that it would be a couple hours. I was fine with that, because I was feeling fine. The aide was in my room and I asked her if it was ok if I went to the bathroom to have a bowel movement. She asked me if I was only feeling that during contractions or all the time. I said, I don't know let me check. I sat there for about 30 seconds, had a contraction and said yup now I have to poo. She looked at me, said don't go to the bathroom, that is the baby bearing down on you. She left the room and about 5 minutes later (or less) the nurse came in the room and said you are going to the OR now (I later found out that Kenzie's heart rate was also dropping during contractions). They wheeled me to a different room, started an IV and while doing this the anesthesia team came to me and had me sign consent forms. About 20 minutes later they took me to the OR room and tried to start the spinal on me. It took them a really long time to get that- I think it was about 4 or 5 tries. They would stick it in and then I could feel them moving the needle around in my back....not pleasant. They got me all ready and Joe wasn't there. Everyone kept asking where Joe was. I guess he was all dressed and ready to go but no one had come to get him and they forgot to give him the booties and cap and they had to go find those. By the time he got there they started immediately. They pulled Kenzie out and she had a very strong cry. Something neat with her was that the Dr (who wasn't my normal Dr) showed her to me over the drape which I didn't get with Owen. Joe went with Kenzie to the nursery while I was getting stitched up. As I was lying there I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. It took a huge effort for me to roll my head to the other side to look at my blood pressure. I saw it in the low 80's over 40's, then 79/38 and then 77/34. At this point I was willing myself not to pass out. I called to the anesthesiologist and said to him "do you see my blood pressure?" Of course I would have the audacity to point that out to a Dr. He pointed to the medicine he was pulling up and said I'm getting something right now.
Because of me Kenzie's blood sugars were REALLY low so she could not be with me for the first 3 days. She had to have an IV in her head (so sad) and was hooked up to a drip that was giving her sugar. Every three hours I would walk to the nursery and stay there for an hour, get about an hour and a half of sleep then do it all over again. The first night I probably shouldn't have been walking by myself, especially with a fall risk band on my wrist, but I just pretended every thing was fine even though I was pretty wobbly on my feet. Recovery for this c-section was a lot harder. I think me being in the hospital scared Owen because he never even wanted to be by me when someone would bring him to me. Someone charted some information incorrectly so there was this drama of them thinking Kenzie was losing too much weight. At first I thought I was going to go home without her but we were able to go home together on Saturday. This time around was very lonely during the day since Joe was at home taking care of Owen. I would stay in the nursery as long as possible and would go back to my room and try to get rest but it wouldn't really happen.
McKenzie Jane Keyes 08/07/2012, 9lbs 14oz, 20.5 inches long. If I had known she was under 10lbs I would have tried to do a VBAC, oh well live and learn. I think I had been in labor since about Friday until my water broke on Tuesday.
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